Bundle of Joy Page 16

  “They may want to see Amanda from time to time, but they’re not interested in raising a baby. They told Courtney that firsthand when she would take off for days and leave Amanda with them.”

  “I can do that.” For the first time in days, when she said she could do something, she felt sure she actually could, not just hopeful that she’d try her best.

  “I’ll do whatever I can with Courtney, or with the legal people, to make sure they know the baby belongs with you.”

  “Thank you, Mandie. That means a lot.” She took the young woman’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “And it would also mean a lot if you’d just call me Shelby. I don’t even remember how that Miss Shelby stuff got started, but I never have liked it. It makes me sound a million years old, especially when half the town, some of them only three or four years younger than me, calls me that. Nobody asked me if I wanted to be called that. They just thought I’d like it.”

  “Oh, Miss Shelby, I don’t know if I could.”

  “You have to,” Shelby insisted, speaking up for herself at long last. “We’re friends now, and it’s what I want.”

  “Okay then...Shelby. Everything will work out. You’ll see. That sheriff will see to it that Courtney doesn’t pull anything funny, and that Jax guy?” Mandie’s dark eyes grew big. She let out a long low whistle and shook her head. “I don’t think he’d let anybody do anything to hurt you, ever.”

  Not on purpose, she thought, but because of Jax, Shelby knew she would be hurt. And yet she knew now that she could handle it.

  “With him on your side, you and Amanda have nothing to worry about.”

  Shelby almost blurted out that the Jax guy wasn’t in this for the long haul. That, in fact, the call he had just gotten was most likely a summons for him to hit the road. One he had no reason not to answer, now that there wasn’t anything more for him to do about finding out who left Amanda.

  Instead, she gave Mandie a hug, reminded her to do as Sheriff Andy asked to cooperate with his investigation and thanked her. Then she headed out to join Jax, knowing that she had another goodbye in her near future.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Though Shelby had smiled all the way through the five-minute-long hug fest filled with thank-yous, encouragements and promises to keep in touch, as soon as the truck hit the highway headed back to Sunnyside, she began to cry softly. The tears flowed the whole way back, and Jax didn’t say or do anything to try to stop them. Shelby deserved to have this time to just let go, to not have to fear the repercussions of showing her emotions.

  He couldn’t change the situation with Courtney or Mitch or Amanda. He could, however, protect her from the assumptions and expectations of practically everyone in Sunnyside.

  He stole a glance her way.

  She twisted around in the seat, keeping her face to the side window, but the shiver in her shoulders and a slight sniffle gave away that she hadn’t worked through things yet. He’d seen this time and again in people of strong character, strong determination and even strong faith. They kept moving forward, allowing nothing to deter them from their goal, then often lost control when it all came to a conclusion—even a happy conclusion.

  The truck’s headlights slashed across a sign advertising Buffalo Betty’s Chuck Wagon Ranch House.

  “Hey, maybe when all this is settled, you and Mandie can take Amanda back to the restaurant and—”

  “I don’t think so,” she said quietly.

  “I know it’s a lot to process. But you’re on the downhill side now.” He believed that, and it gave his words renewed energy as he assured her, “Once Sheriff Andy files official charges of child abandonment against Courtney, things should be on track for you to start the process of becoming Amanda’s mom, right?”

  “I know. I’m relieved about all that.” The heaviness of her sigh belied that claim. “Mandie said over and over that Courtney has no interest in keeping the baby, that the time she had Amanda made her see she wasn’t ready for parenthood.”

  “I hope that’s true, but...” Jax wished he could tell her there wouldn’t be bumps along the way, but he had dealt with people like Courtney over and over in his experiences in the foster care system and as a cop. There were so many unknowns at play, so many possible outcomes. He believed with all his heart that Shelby would fight for what was best for Amanda and that it would work out, but he couldn’t pretend she wasn’t in for a struggle. “When this all catches up with her, you realize that Courtney could use severing Amanda’s parental rights as a bargaining chip.”

  “I don’t care. I still want to work things out for Amanda.” She sat up straight in the seat and shook her hair back like a woman filled with new resolve as she added, “And for Courtney.”

  “For Courtney?”

  “Yes. For Courtney.” She shifted in the seat just enough to angle her upper body toward him. Her whole face took on that fierceness he had seen in her that first night, when she thought she was standing up to the kind of man who would leave a baby on a doorstep. “This is Amanda’s birth mother, Mandie’s stepsister. I know she’s made a lot of mistakes, but it sounds like she’s had a lot of people let her down in life, Jax.”

  It took everything in him not to bust out in a big old grin as she spoke.

  “I just hope she gets a chance at redemption, at making up for those mistakes,” she went on. As she looked out the side window again, her voice grew softer. “That’s all. I want everyone in this to know God’s love and mercy and to have a better life.”

  “Of course you do.”

  Shelby whirled her head about so fast, Jax half expected to hear the sound of a whip cracking. Her eyes all but shot fire. He’d seen that look before, and it made his heart sing.

  “Are you making fun of me, Jackson Stroud?”

  “That’s the furthest thing from my mind,” he said with quiet conviction. He had always looked for people’s worst motivations as part of his work, and as an excuse not to get close to them, he now understood. Shelby didn’t look for shortcomings in anyone, and even when presented with them, she considered how to help those people overcome their issues. Jax was better for just having known her.

  “No. In fact, I was just thinking how much I admire you, Shelby Grace. How much I’ve learned from you in this short time we’ve known each other.”

  She opened her mouth to say something sassy—he could just read it in her posture and the flush in her cheeks. Then the moment passed, and as his confession seemed to sink in, she went a bit gushy, pulling her shoulders up and tilting her head to one side. “Really?”

  “Really,” he said, not hesitating to confirm his statement. He did hesitate before he said what he knew needed to be said next, and when he spoke, he kept his eyes to the front, not even stealing a glimpse to see how she took his words. “And because of that, I know it’s going to be okay for me to leave now.”

  She didn’t argue or ask anything more about his plans. She turned her head again, and they drove on until the truck went gliding into Sunnyside.

  “Wait, this isn’t the way to Miss Delta’s house,” she said, pointing toward the street he had just passed.

  “I know. That’s the phone call I made. I asked Harmon to bring Amanda and meet us at the café.” Jax guided the truck around to the back lot that the Crosspoint Café shared with Miss Delta’s Shoppers’ Emporium and the Truck Stop Inn, as if he’d done that very thing day after day for years. “I wanted to give you a minute to compose yourself and not have to do that in front of everyone.”

  She managed a nod and whispered, “Thank you for that.”

  “And I wanted to tell her goodbye.”

  Jax pulled his truck into a spot that allowed him to see the street and know when Harmon arrived with the baby. He knew it would not be long, and he wanted to make the most of this last little time he had alone with Shelby.
>
  She sniffled and tugged a tissue out of her purse. “I grabbed a wad of these from Miss Delta’s house because I thought I’d need them for Mandie.”

  Always thinking of others first, Jax thought. He decided not to say it, in case it might make her feel defensive. In his book, this woman needed no defense of her emotions or actions. “Shelby Grace, in case I haven’t made it clear already, meeting you, spending time with you, well, you...you have changed me for the better.”

  “Oh, Jax, that’s...” She gave him the shiest of smiles, then opened her door and gave a not quite convincing laugh. “That’s a pretty big responsibility to lay on my shoulders.”

  He opened his door and climbed out of the truck. Over the solid clunk of both doors falling shut, he called out to her, “I thought it was a compliment.”

  “Oh, it is.” She rummaged in her purse for a minute, then retrieved her cluttered key ring. It jangled in her hand as she started toward the darkened café. “I am so humbled that you think that, but you know what I think?”

  He didn’t follow her. “What?”

  She turned and put her hands on her hips. “That maybe I was just an instrument of the Lord in whatever has affected you this week.”

  “That’s fair.” He nodded.

  She gave a little bow, like a diva accepting an ovation, then turned and headed toward the café, her steps crunching in the gravel of the small lot.

  Jax watched her retreating. There, with only the bright moon to light their way, Jax could not see any telltale signs as to her mood or mind-set. But he didn’t have to. In just this short time, he had come to understand Shelby Grace Lockhart in ways he had never understood another person alive.

  He planted his own feet in the gravel and, even as they settled in slowly, unevenly, called out after her, “But I hope you recognize that by being you, by having the kind of heart that’s open to so much love, you gave the Lord a lot to work with.”

  Her steps slowed, then stopped. She cast a look at him over her shoulder.

  He went to her, brushed her hair back with one hand and said, “I will never forget you, Miss Shelby Grace Lockhart.”

  “Oh, Jax. That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.” She looked up at him, a smile on her lips but the threat of tears in her eyes. She laid her palm on his cheek, then let her hand fall to the side of his neck, his shoulder. Then she lifted it away and smacked him hard once on the upper arm. “I can’t believe you waited until you had to go to say it.”

  “Hey, I thought I was being nice!” He rubbed his arm, even though he had barely felt the blow.

  “Being nice just before you say goodbye is...is... It’s just crummy, that’s what it is. Now every time I think of this time and your part in it, this is what I’ll think of. Not all the good, just the goodbye! It’s a rotten thing to do to a girl, Jax, to leave her with that kind of—”

  Before she could get another breath to press on with her rant, Jax stepped in, wound his arms around her and kissed her. Not the quick, tender kisses they had shared along the way, but a real kiss. A goodbye kiss.

  The seconds went by, counted out by their beating hearts, and the kiss ended.

  Shelby tried to push away from him, but he held her just a moment longer. “Whenever I think about my time in Sunnyside, that’s what I’ll remember.”

  Stay. If she just said that one word, Jax might actually...might actually have to tell her no. He had a contract. People counting on him. Shelby had a lot to work out here, and trying to fit in a relationship on top of it all wasn’t fair to her.

  Shelby had had enough of other people using her good nature to get what they wanted. Jax couldn’t be another one. He had to leave Sunnyside, for Shelby’s own good.

  The glow of headlights turning into the lot from the road made Jax let go and move away.

  Shelby bowed her head and did the same.

  Less than a minute later they were in the café, Miss Delta, Harmon, baby Amanda, Shelby and Jax.

  “Hey, beautiful,” Jax whispered as he took the baby in his arms one last time. “I know you won’t remember me, but I hope you know that I’ll be praying for you every day, just like I did the night we found you. Praying that you will find your way. Praying that you will be happy.”

  Any further words caught in Jax’s throat. He clenched his teeth tight and settled for just giving the child a kiss on the head. When he saw Sheriff Denby slip in through the unlocked back door, he handed the baby back to Shelby, lingered a moment with the two of them, then headed over to resign.

  “Not going to stay and see this to the finish, then?” Denby asked before he would take the silver badge glinting in the overhead lights of the café.

  “I made a promise to be in Miami. This is one cowboy who always keeps his promises,” he said.

  “I guess I was wrong about you.” Miss Delta shook her head.

  “How so?” Jax asked as he fit his Stetson on, preparing to get back on the road, to get on with the life he had planned before this detour.

  “I thought you were where you needed to be. Seems like it was only where you ended up on your way to where you needed to be.” She gave him a sad smile, then stretched up to give him a kiss on the cheek. “I hope you find what you’re looking for at your next stop.”

  Jax hoped so, too, though he sincerely doubted he would.

  “So, you’re really going to go. I guess you got your answer, then?” Denby flipped the badge over in his open palm.

  “Why Shelby Grace? Yes, because everybody trusts her and she deserves that trust.” The answer came quickly to Jax’s lips.

  “I wasn’t asking that question literally, son.” The older man shoved the badge into his shirt pocket, then gestured toward Shelby at the counter, talking to her father. “I was asking if it wasn’t worth finding out why, out of all the people in the whole wide world, someone, anyone, would leave a baby with Shelby Grace Lockhart.”

  Shelby moved the baby to her other shoulder, her cheek brushing the baby’s cheek, her eyes glittering with delight and maybe the beginning of tears.

  Jax nodded. He didn’t know if he smiled or if his eyes reflected the emotions of the moment. He took a deep breath and answered Denby’s question simply. “I think I know why.”

  “And you’re still gonna leave, anyways?” The older man shook his head.

  The question hit Jax like a sucker punch to the gut. Rather than let anyone, even someone who had been as close to a father figure as Jax had ever had, see how much it cost him to leave Shelby, he made a joke. “You just want me to stay so you can groom me to take over your job so you can retire.”

  “That your fancy big-city police-procedure detective training talking, son, or that gut feeling about why people do what they do that you claim to have?”

  “Little bit of both.” Jax adjusted his hat and shifted his boots in line with the shortest way to the door.

  “Hmm.” The sheriff studied him with his lips pursed; then he lifted his shoulders and gave a shrug that somehow conveyed more disappointment than disinterest. “You’d think between the two of them, you’d have done a better job figuring out what was going on.”

  Jax met the sheriff’s eyes. He couldn’t tell if the man was joking or not.

  “What I want, son, what any man who serves and cares about people wants, is what’s best for them, not himself.” He put his hand on Jax’s back. “Count it as a blessing if they work out to be the same thing.”

  Jax nodded. “I will.”

  “Got no reason to believe that, son.” His expression said he wished he could believe it. “You haven’t so far.”

  Jax wanted to argue with the man, but the tough-as-leather sheriff gave a snort, shook his head, turned and walked away, leaving Jax standing there, all alone among people he had known only a few days, but whom he cared
about more than he could express.

  So he left it at that, left anything else he felt or hoped unsaid. He raised his hand and told them that if he left right away, he could be in Miami by tomorrow afternoon.

  Shelby moved toward him, but he held up his hand to hold her off. They had said their goodbyes. He didn’t think he could go through another one and still get in that truck and leave.

  And he had to leave. For Shelby’s sake.

  Chapter Sixteen

  By Friday of his first full week on the new job, Jax had already begun to count out his days in terms of “How long until lunch?” “How long until my next break?” “How long until quitting time?” Except with this new job, there was no quitting time. More than once, that had made him think of Sheriff Denby’s halfhearted complaints about working in a small town. Jax knew the man had loved his years of service, and was loved and respected in return for all he gave.

  Here there was no respect to speak of, and certainly no love. No respect for boundaries. No consideration of him as a person, deserving of personal time or basic personal pleasantries, like learning his name.

  Before his time in Sunnyside—before Shelby Grace Lockhart—that would have been just fine with him. Now when most people who bothered to speak to him, usually to demand something, called him Jack, or worse, Jackie, he cringed. To be fair, he hadn’t learned the names of many of the people in the gated community, either. He tended to think of them by descriptions of their houses—the yellow villa on Bradford Street. Or by their cars—Mr. Leave a Space between That Truck and My Jag. He had never once tried to figure any of them out. Why they did what they did just did not interest him.

  In fact, he had spent more time in these past few days trying to figure out why he had done what he had than ever before in his whole life. He thought it was for Shelby, but now with the gift of time and distance, he had to wonder. Had he really put her first—or used that as an excuse?

  It must have been the right thing to do, he argued. If it hadn’t been, wouldn’t Shelby have called and asked him to come back?